Also, 91 percent of men snore loudly – badly, like very sick bears. I would say that CPAP machines are the greatest advance in marital joy since the vibrator. It transforms an experience similar to sleeping next to a dying silverback gorilla into sleeping next to an aquarium.
Romantic love isn't acceptable around the world. Sometimes you forget this.
For example, take a look at how Islam reacted to Valentine's Day this year. Indonesian clerics believe that valentines promote teen sex parties.
Islamic conservatives in Indonesia, the world’s biggest Muslim-populated nation, voiced opposition to Thursday’s Valentine’s Day celebrations, saying they promote teen “sex parties” and premarital sex.
After the deputy mayor in the conservative city of Depok on Jakarta’s outskirts urged parents to stop their children from celebrating, local religious leaders voiced support.
“We don’t want to completely ban Valentine’s Day but it’s not for teenagers,” Depok secretary of the country’s largest Muslim organisation Nahdlatul Ulama, Raden Salamun Adiningrat, told AFP.
“Teenagers see it as a time to express love and affection and they often end up in sex parties, like in the West.”
The Head of the hardline Islamic Defenders Front (FPI) in Depok, Habib Idrus Al Gadhri, declared the day “haram” (forbidden) for Muslims, claiming it is part of the culture of “infidels”.
“It’s Western culture and immoral so it’s ironic Muslims celebrate it,” he said.
Despite the calls, many of the country’s glitzy malls, hotels and restaurants are offering love-themed banquets and special events.
Around 90 percent of Indonesia’s 240 million people are Muslim but the vast majority practise a moderate form of the religion.
Nonetheless, dozens of schoolgirls wearing headscarves in eastern Java’s Malang city protested against the day, declaring February 14 “headscarf day”.
With plans to protest in several cities, the girls have distributed pamphlets illustrating how men and women should dress modestly, covered from head to toe.
Local media reported protests in the central Java city of Solo on Wednesday, where nearly 500 elementary school students and teachers marched against youths celebrating the day. They carried signs reading “Valentine, Infidel Culture”.
Authorities in some cities such as Balikpapan on Borneo reportedly said they would monitor cheap hotels and conduct raids on unmarried young couples.
The Indonesian Council of Ulema (MUI), the country’s top Muslim body, has declared Valentine’s Day haram several times in recent years.
Islamic organisations such as the Solo MUI chapter and the FPI last week called on Muslims not to take part in Chinese New Year celebrations on the grounds these were linked to Buddhist rituals.
Nor are they happy about Valentine's Day in Pakistan. Some folks wanted to call it "Modesty Day". I'm sure that'll catch on.
The US government has settled its legal case against the iconic Gibson Guitar company over use of illegal timber from Madagascar in its instruments.
Nashville-based Gibson, whose products are used by artists in every genre of music, will pay a $300,000 (£190,000) fine and a $50,000 community payment.
Gibson admitted violating the Lacey Act, which requires firms to know that timber they use is legally obtained.
Deforestation is a huge issue affecting Madagascan wildlife such as lemurs.
Gibson's premises were raided by the US Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) in 2010 and 2011, with agents impounding ebony and rosewood imported from Madagascar and India.
The FWS found evidence that an employee had told Gibson two years previously that its Madagascan imports might be illegal, but that the company had nevertheless ordered further stocks.
"As a result of this investigation and criminal enforcement agreement, Gibson has acknowledged that it failed to act on information that the Madagascar ebony it was purchasing may have violated laws intended to limit overharvesting and conserve valuable wood species from Madagascar, a country which has been severely impacted by deforestation," said Assistant Attorney General Moreno following the settlement.
The only Gibson guitar I ever owned was an acoustic Everly Brothers model, which I bought after my basic training at Fort Dix back in 1972. It was a beautiful acoustic, with inlayed stars up and down its rosewood neck. I called her "Beverly". Thirty years later, when I was going through my divorce, I sold it to a guitar shop for a thousand dollars. Needed the money and my hands were in such bad shape from the repetitive stress that I wasn't playing that sweet, sweet thing. I miss that baby. At times I dream of cozying up with a Les Paul and gently stroking its neck. Alas, electrically I've pretty much been a Fender Strat man, although I did once own a Vox electric 12-string and a Peavey six-string, which I wore out. Can't wait to move all my music stuff into Joanie's place so that I can hack out some more music.
They don't always go together. In fact, in my younger years they hardly seemed to go together. My problem wasn't loving someone. I'm a lover. My problem was choosing someone who would love me. And at this late stage in my life I have. It's really nice. I can be sitting and this beautiful, peaceful fullness overwhelms my heart.
According to the LA Times the newest trend in housing, at least for the baby boomer set, are "snore rooms". That is, a place to go or send noisy spouses.
I have been told by women who have slept next to me that I snore. Of course, I've never heard myself snore. I've always been asleep.
Increasingly adaptable bedroom designs may be just the ticket for trend-driving Baby Boomers whose marriages are plagued by snorts, sniffles and wheezing.
Enter the so-called snore room option at Del Webb’s Sun City Shadow Hills in Indio. The secondary bedroom that shares the master bathroom was designed for 55 and older couples who may start out in the same bed but end up apart because of snoring, insomnia or late-night TV viewing habits. About a quarter of couples in this age group sleep apart to get a good night’s rest, according to data studied by PulteGroup.
Of course, bigger kitchens are wanted too. But you can't sleep in kitchens.